Author’s Note: Yes, I’m writing Zelda right now, of course I threw an Easter egg name in there.:)


Cars. With her boys. Always ‘great’ adventures, but with Sans too? Frisk glanced over toward him. She could understand monsters never driving cars so they would use their magic, but this was bordering on ridiculous. Not only that, the car was not made to be safe in any position for her smaller than average children. He should be being extra careful but instead? She smacked his coat arm. “Sans!”

“Right here.” Sans opened his eyes. He was reclining in the driver’s seat with his feet up on the wheel, actually starting to close his eyes. “Not so rough, human. Frisk. Human Frisk that will be wife soon. You got a handle you prefer yet, Buddy? All of them sound weird.”

“Let me drive,” Frisk insisted. “At least I can keep my eyes open.”

“I’m on the road, my magic can sense if I scoot off it,” Sans insisted. “Dang. I thought Papyrus ragged on me all the time. Can’t a guy drive without getting scolded every few minutes?”

“Then stop closing your eyes behind the wheel, straighten up, and watch where you’re going.” Really! She wasn’t being overbearing. The road. He needed to concentrate on the road. He was a monster driving a stolen vehicle that someone was bound to notice soon, and he wasn’t taking it serious at all. She understood he used comedy to get through things. Fine. But this? How am I going to ever get through this? 

“That is not appropriate, Al!”

“Is so.”

“You are taking too much side!”






“Don’t ‘eh’ me!” Juleyard complained as he shoved his little brother over. “Momsy! Al is trying to take over extra space to lie down.”

Gee. I wonder where he got that from? Frisk almost let her own bias take over the situation. “There’s plenty of room for both of you to lie down, just scoot over a little, Juleyard.”

“See, now how come they get to lay down and I just get eyes of hell over here from you when I do?” Sans said to her.

“That ‘when’ is ‘while’,” Frisk corrected him, pointing out his current position which hadn’t changed at all. “They also aren’t driving and putting everyone’s lives at stake at a wheel.”

“Ah, I know what I’m doin’.” Sans propped himself up more. “See, hands on pretty wheel.” He started to rhythmically beat on the wheel. “No one around here, it’s empty. We got at least another two hours before we ditch this car. Then the walking won’t be fun to the next dealership.”

What? “Again?” Frisk asked. They just picked up that car.

“Contrary to whatever your thinking, puzzlers are smart,” Sans said to her. “We borrowed this to get out, but everything was set up ahead of time. Next stop, we’ll hang back from this car, walk a few miles, and pick up a new car with our new identities, Mrs. Liberty.” Mrs. Liberty. Her identity name. It was about the only thing he told her so far about their new life.

“If we got money, can we get pizza?” Al asked from the back.

Not now. Al. Frisk was far from in the mood.

“Don’t know why you’re getting all pissy at me,” Sans complained again. “You’re the one not doing what you’re supposed to.”

What was that? “I’m not doing anything,” Frisk said. Except trying to watch out for their lives as best she could.

“Unless your going for a ball-in-chain kind of wife, you could be a little tiny smidgie sweeter,” Sans said. “The other way isn’t helping me look so good.”

Frisk folded her arms and her legs. Sans deserved his family. Yes. She deserved hers too though. Trying to remain patient. He does not make it easy.

“Momsy?” Juleyard asked aloud. “When do we get to see our grandparents? Why does everyone keep pulling us away?”

Before Frisk could say anything to him, Sans came in with his own reply. “Because I’m better at taking care of you than they are.” He gestured to Frisk. “I mean, just look at your mom. They let her wander around barriers, lose her for years on end, get her back and lose her all over again.”

Ow. That shouldn’t have happened. Sans was the one driving, how was that able to happen? The kids were fine, instinct took over to protect them before they were sent forward. Usually the deal with little ones, and from the force that must have stopped him, a definite instinct. Yet, it was still hard to believe. Frisk’s inner monster power that she had received from Flowey had made itself known. First, by holding the kids in place, by the car literally slamming to a stop, and her own door opening so violently, it almost broke. After she stepped out, Sans knew he had a not so fun time ahead of him. “Be right back kiddos.” He got out of the car and went toward the angered Frisk.

Step by step. Say something nice. Say something that wouldn’t get him killed. “Hey.” There, that was good.

“How dare you say that my parents weren’t any good!” Frisk went off on him. “You don’t even know them, and you have to point something that vicious out to them?” Her arms and body moved violently around, not knowing whether she was coming or going. “I snuck off in the middle of the night of a safe resort, that wasn’t their fault. I’m the one who did that without their consent, I’m the one to blame! And-and afterwards, they were trying to keep such a close eye on me, they couldn’t have prevented me from being taken again! They tried, they put so many restrictions on me!” She gestured back to herself. “I’m the one to blame, not them. Not them.”

Oh. Bad. Shit. She’s crying. “I wasn’t . . .” Damn. Feelings weren’t exactly his cup of tea. “I thought of how I could use the question to make me look good.” Better be honest, whether it made him look shitty or not. “You’re right, I don’t even know them. I don’t want them to have ammunition against me.” On instinct, he glanced toward her stomach. “It shouldn’t have happened this way.”

“Well, who’s the one to blame for that?” Frisk wasn’t going to be kind about the whole thing. He ripped her parents a new one with the kids, and it was clearly an area he wouldn’t be able to use. “I never said ‘split me back up’!”

Sans rubbed his chin bone. He wasn’t doing too hot with her now. Before, it hadn’t really mattered how he treated her when she was just a kid cruising through the Underground. It didn’t matter before when he had to go fetch her for King Asgore. It didn’t even really matter when he was visiting his ‘bros’ because he wasn’t there visiting her, so there wasn’t anything to get into a tizzy over.

In the Underground, when Sans stepped too far, Papyrus helped him out. Either apologizing, or just scolding him and going on. “I miss Papyrus.” It slipped out before he could say anything about it to her. “Come back to the car.” She was shirking though. Visibly hurt. “I don’t always think before I talk,” he admitted to her. “Better get used to it.” Nope, too rough. “I mean.”

“You’re only part yourself without Papyrus.” Frisk looked back toward the car where the kids were at. “I get it. Not having your twin around isn’t as easy, but you need to stop and be more aware then.” She rubbed her shoulders.

“Don’t take them all away.”

His voice. Frisk heard it. Like, a crack in it. “I can’t.”

“Yeah you can, you have way more power than you know.” Sans kicked the ground. “This whole ‘relationship’ thing ain’t some slavery, Frisk. You humans? You lose your security, then your kind can be out on the streets, begging for food. Homes are put out to try and ‘help’ with the homeless. Lot more humans though ignore the indecent lot, or other humans use the image to their advantage and gather money that way. It’s ridiculous, and it’s real rare for monsters. Not saying it don’t happen, but it takes no family left for it to happen, and just straight out ignoring help. Even the King of Monsters actually adopted your folks instead of leaving them out there to rot. You aren’t out there, rotting.” Sans tried to stand up straight. “I am.”

Hmm? “What do you mean?” Frisk asked.

“You don’t really get it. You’ve seen things from a human perspective all your life.” Sans sighed. “Right now, I lost the Underground. Your parents are almost equal to me. Only thing I really got going is your support. When it comes down to it, it’s your decision who you stay with at first. There’s little chance a human pair of parents who get their eight year old child back is gonna want me involved in even seeing the ‘accidental’ kids. I’ll be banned.”


“Not only that, your parents can decide on someone way better later on. If they get the official hold of you.” His gaze fell toward the ground. “I flat out promise, once I win this, if your family is safe they can come and live with us. But there ain’t no way they are gonna do that same thing for me, and your momma is deffo where you got your determination from.”

Frisk wet her lip. It had become dry with the whole situation that day. The sun was only starting to peak over the horizon. Her parents would never just take her and the kids and leave him behind like someone not worthy of a home. Sure she was a child to them, growing up overnight, but they wouldn’t ban Sans from seeing the kids. He was essentially good. Rough around the edges. Took a little getting used to, but he wasn’t bad.

Then again? Her parents didn’t really know monsters. If they had control over her, could they really control that outcome too? A weird thought. Would she have to take time to convince them Sans was good? “How much control over me would they have?”

“When the decision’s made by royalty, it can only be undone by the one who’s taking care of everyone,” Sans said. “So completely. If they want to give ya to some local human guy they approve of instead of me, there’s no choice.” He rubbed his lower chin again. “Even I see it in your eyes, Frisk. You love them, but even you don’t know how they handle monsters yet.”

Well. I fought the froggits as soon as I fell. The feelings. The lessons. There was a lot of prejudice against monsters, but Toriel and Asgore could cut through it. Her parents were reasonable. However, it would probably take time to cut through it. They were dealing with her growing up seemingly overnight with kids, and so far kept away from seeing her and their grandchildren. “They’ll come around,” she admitted, “but until they do, they might make mistakes.” Fine. “Can you driver safer?”

“Your little force of power that built through you was the one responsible for the car stopping, but even it protected your little monsters,” Sans said. “Instinct always will. No matter what, their safety will always come first. ‘Cause. Their yours.” Sans seemed uncomfortable. “I can do the same thing, eyes closed or not, but I’ll drive right and watch the road as best I can.”

“And no ragging on my parents,” Frisk added. “They are my children, and-”

“I won’t diss them,” Sans agreed. “It’s just that, technically, when we left the Underground? Certain procedures were always known to everyone, and I was supposed to act in a certain way with them. I couldn’t let them bond with you,” he said. “My family came first, their needs came first, and by letting you bond it’d look like I was giving you up at that moment. More ammunition.”

Frisk nodded. “If you respect them where you can, then I’ll be a little more lenient.” Without his twin, Papyrus, he was bound to have misteps. Skeleton twins needed each other, but he could pull through it. “I’m sorry Papyrus isn’t here either.” She wasn’t the only one hurting.

Sans gave one nod. “Kay.” He gestured back to the car. “We ready then?”

Frisk gave one nod in return and headed back to the car. She got in, buckled her seat belt and Sans got in too. This time, he kept his hands on the wheel and watched out the front window. Or at least pretended to be gazing out into it. “What about your appearance?” she asked him.

“On my own ’til we get home,” Sans answered straight forward with her. “Monsters in society, being assassins to boot, I’m sure they got their own little devices to change their appearance. No worries. None.” He started to drive away. “Can we make a little deal, Frisk?”

“I thought you hated deals,” Frisk reminded him.

“Promises, I hate promises. A deal is a little different,” Sans replied. “Contrary to what you see, I know what I’m doing. That ain’t no joke. This situation isn’t completely easy, but us kind of gnawing into each other because of it ain’t helping things. So, go easy on me and in exchange, I want you to relax.”


“Yeah. I know monsters. I know tech. I can pull my pelvis out of many a situation that gets tough, as long as I don’t get real stressed. If something happens, don’t step out in front, follow my lead and just trust me. I know that’s kind of tough.” He gripped the wheel on and off with his fingers. “Trust is tough to give, but if we don’t trust in each other, this situation is going to go bad.” He rubbed the top of his skull. “I’ll let myself get dusted before anything happens to you or the kids.”

Whoah. Just, the way he said that. He was willing to put everything on the line for them, for her, if he had to? Frisk looked out the front window herself. Sans didn’t seem the type to say something like that. She thought he was one way, but he was turning out to be another. She couldn’t pin him. “Thanks?”

“In the meantime, this early in the morning, there’s no way pizza’s on the menu,” Sans said looking back toward Al in the back. Lying down, but probably awake. “How about a good ol’ fast food breakfast burger? Probably got those.”

Wait. “Did you want me to drive for that?” Frisk asked. Certainly someone would be able to see Sans.

“Nah way. I’ve always wanted to drive one of these. I can work with it.” Sans put up the hood on his coat. “Oh, and here.” He took his phone, played around it a second and tossed it to her.

Frisk looked at what he tossed at her. Sans you little secret keeper.

“Yeah, I know, trust. I’m showing ya? I was gonna before but I was tired. You know, losing home to a gigantic flaming torch thing overnight. Stress makes Sans a dull boy.” Sans pulled himself up even straighter, to make it look like he was actually driving the car and not the magic as they rode through a town.

Frisk moved back to look at the phone. He must have kept in contact because he already had everything they needed. In fact? “Are we getting burgers to make sure everything is fine?”

“That, and I’m hungry,” Sans said. “The little flasher. There it is.” He turned into a drive around joint.

Frisk knew the place, it was standard fast food and did have a breakfast menu. Not an elegant one, but something decent. In the meantime, she was looking at all the information Sans had pulled up. Not only did he have his identities bank account, he had access to their social media address, passwords, and Mrs. Liberty’s too.  The last social media message was an outright complaint about pregnancy and not being taken seriously with the hashtag #pregnantpeoplerstillpeople. Looking through the others, she was getting a quick idea of what Mrs. Liberty stood for.

She wanted to go back to work, and she was still early in pregnancy but her husband told her she couldn’t anymore. Mrs. Liberty was careful in what she said, not giving away that she was a monster assassin, but good enough that people understood she wanted to go back to her field again. Stubborn woman, she was a pregnant assassin, not a desk jockey. If she gets hurt on the job, it does too. Frisk understood basic rights, but Mrs. Liberty had a dangerous job that risked her life. That wasn’t something she should be doing while pregnant. Yet? As she read more, she got mixed feelings.

Oh. It was frustration, but she still loved her unborn and her children. She was talking about them all over the place on different media. Hormones and frustration. She knew it was dangerous, it was her feelings talking. I’ve been there. She closed the phone and handed it back to Sans. She didn’t want to access any passwords or go any deeper than anyone else could see on social media. “Mrs. Liberty doesn’t have a first name I can find.”

“Liberty,” Sans chuckled as he was nearing getting the order. “It’s Liberty. His last name was something like Metersmeyescola or something. Hers was too slithery and he couldn’t pronounce it without three tongues. So, they both changed their last names to her first name, Liberty. Mutual thing between monsters that care, a decision. Not too bad. You know, except for the whole assassins thing. Ah, maybe even with it, not too bad of monsters.”

Frisk spared him a look. He needed to watch his mouth more if he was ever going to get along with her parents.

“I know I need to do that. Humans and killing, it’s been a thing in the Underground. I’m learning,” Sans said, of course catching what her look meant. Well, at least it saved some words between them.

“I don’t know what they’ll do, honestly, but hearing you speak like that won’t make them any more fond of you.” She looked back briefly toward the kids, making sure they were asleep. “They still need to know.”

“Need to know a lot. First, food. Then, place. Then, relax. Then, you know, let them know. Decent order. Ooh, speaking of decent order.” He rolled down the window, making the person servicing him do most of the work to bring the food to him so they couldn’t see beyond his hood. His hands however couldn’t be covered. “Thanks, I got it.” Before the person could ask questions though, or before they might have even noticed, Sans pulled out one burger and drove off.

“Can I keep Carlisle?” Frisk asked him as they drove away.

“Uh?” Sans handed her the sacks but kept his burger. “Eventually. I really gotta . . . you know, politicrap, Frisk.”

Frisk looked back toward her children. Still asleep. She went ahead and grabbed a burger. “My parents won’t be that bad, Sans, unless you keep pushing them away. You and the royalty are the ones exacerbating this.” She unwrapped the wrapper and took a gentle bite. A familiar special sauce she hadn’t tasted in years. Diced onion. Same old hamburger taste. Just one more thing she missed about the surface. “I know my parents like I know myself. Sure, I had trouble . . . but I learned. You need to give them some chance to learn.”

“I will,” Sans insisted. “Okay. I’ll tell you what? If. You. Promise only to call them when I’m in the room, and discuss what you’re going to say,” he said cautiously, “then I’ll let you call them when we get settled.”

Frisk took another bite with a smile she couldn’t even hide behind the bite. “Thank you.”

“But we gotta be careful, okay?” Sans warned her. “Saying something like ‘he fell asleep while driving’ is not gonna help. Saying he thinks of his kids more like brothers. That wouldn’t help.”

Oh. Frisk knew that. What he was saying wasn’t overkill, but it was Frisk herself that would have to convince them differently. She knew while they were a hurdle, they weren’t the biggest one. Her mother and father. They were understanding and caring people, and Sans got along with nearly every monster. There’s no reason they couldn’t get along with him. They’d learn about monsters considering Toriel and Asgore were responsible for them. As long as they knew she was safe and sound.

Okay, so the whole losing your eight year old to a monster wasn’t going to be easy. The more calls. The more time. They’ll like him, I know they will. Sans is wonderful, I know they’ll see that. They just need to know and believe that they can be a part of my life too. 

“If I knew them well for a fact, I’d just let them come,” Sans said a little softer than usual. “I know you missed your folks, Frisk. Parents. Family, it’s important.” His hands squeezed the wheel slightly, like he wanted to say something else. “Little cool off time’s good for everybody, Mrs. Liberty. Liberty-Liberty. So Sayeth, Dodingo.”

Ooh. “That sounds quite monster,” Frisk said. “That was her husband’s name?”

“People in your world don’t care about names that sound like a monster. They aren’t supposed to be a problem. Most don’t even think they exist,” Sans reminded her. “I kind of like it. It means, they didn’t completely adapt to your human ways. Kept something from their culture. So, Al is close enough to be Franco and Juleyard is better at Kivzy. Not perfect matches but they should be able to act good enough.”

“I don’t know their acting skills,” Frisk confessed. She never had to test them that way.

“Ah, with you as their momma, Liberty, I bet their skills are so good they can seem like a completely different person.”

Frisk nodded. “I hope your right, Dodingo.”